Riverside was crowded with people. On such a stuffy summer day, men, women, young and old all strolled along the river in slippers. Everywhere was brightly lit, adding a bit more restlessness to the summer heat.

The pitch-black river water lay silently and gently to one side, stretching for thousands of miles. The mountains on the opposite bank suddenly reminded her of that line from Lu Xun in the textbook: “The faintly black, undulating chain of mountains, as if the leaping iron spines of a beast”—only because she was walking so slowly, the beast also moved steadily, its back pressed tightly against the night, like a considerate companion.

Alan Carter told her that she should go farther for herself, and live a more wonderful life.

She thought again of Andrew Lane, that fifth-grade boy whose eyes shone as he said, “If you haven’t figured it out yet, then just try your best to do everything well, get the best resources, and wait for the best opportunity.”

Zoe Young felt confused, a breath stuck in her chest, unable to figure things out.

She didn’t know how far she had walked when she suddenly heard chaotic footsteps behind her.

Zoe Young herself couldn’t quite describe that feeling of her heart suddenly being gripped tight and then released, nervous yet relieved.

For some reason, she deliberately pretended nothing was happening and didn’t look back.

“Zhou, Zoe?”

Out of breath, a little clumsy from drinking, as if afraid of biting his tongue.

Andrew Lane.

It took Zoe Young quite a while to turn around.

Maybe out of spite.

Maybe to process that sudden, overly bright smile on her face.

Zoe Young & Andrew Lane extra finally returned to her usual calm self. She cleared her throat: “What are you doing here? You’ve had so much to drink, hurry home, be careful.”

Andrew Lane’s face was full of disappointment and confusion.

“…What’s wrong?”

Zoe Young was surprised.

“Why are you still like this?”

“What about me?”

“I ignored you, and you’re not even mad?”

Zoe Young was stunned.

So it was on purpose.

Her heart suddenly softened, but she deliberately kept a cool expression: “You ignored me?”

“Nathan Lucas said… Charlotte Lee said… said I’m too eager for you… They said if I left you alone and ignored you, you’d definitely get jealous and angry, and then you’d realize your own feelings… I finally found you and caught up, but you still have this expression, you’re not mad at all…”

As Andrew Lane spoke, he slumped down onto the railing, as if he couldn’t hold himself up anymore.

Zoe Young felt like her whole head had been struck by lightning.

What a big idiot.

Zoe Young suddenly felt deeply sorry for Nathan Lucas and Charlotte Lee who had been scheming behind the scenes.

Just as she was thinking this, she suddenly noticed Andrew Lane swaying backward toward the river, and hurriedly reached out to grab his collar.

But she pulled too hard and dragged him right into her arms. She quickly stepped back, then pushed him back toward the railing.

Luckily, Andrew Lane seemed a bit tipsy. Though still clear-headed, his reactions were much slower than usual. He was pushed back and forth between Zoe Young and the railing several times before finally rubbing the back of his head and saying it hurt.

Zoe Young frowned worriedly and gently tugged his sleeve.

“Let me walk you home.”

“That’s supposed to be the guy’s line!” Andrew Lane shouted.

“Okay, okay, then you walk me home?”

“No way!”

Zoe Young’s eyebrows drooped helplessly.

She could only sit lightly on the railing, then suddenly remembered something, and tapped Andrew Lane’s forehead with a sly smile.

“Tell me, what feelings am I supposed to have?”

Andrew Lane looked up, his eyes a bit blank and slow.

Then he looked down again, silent for a long time.

“Zoe, am I… really annoying?”

Zoe Young froze. Andrew Lane’s hoarse tone tangled with the hot, humid summer air. She breathed it in, choking, unable to speak.

“I remember, when I was four, I went to the dentist for the first time, to treat a cavity.

“While waiting outside, I saw something shocking. The previous patient, a girl not much older than me, bit the dentist’s finger out of pain and fear. After her parents and the dentist bombarded her with persuasion, she finally let go, got scolded, and kept screaming as the dentist continued.

Zoe Young gently shook his shoulder: “Andrew Lane, you’re drunk, you’re talking nonsense.”

“At the time, my dad patted my head and told me, ‘Yangyang, you have to be good, don’t be like that little girl, okay?’”

Andrew Lane ignored her and kept rambling.

“I nodded, secretly making up my mind.

“When it was my turn, I greeted the doctor and smiled. The doctor relaxed and told me to open my mouth.

“As soon as his long-handled mirror went into my mouth, I bit his index finger hard.

Zoe Young & Andrew Lane extra “I bit down for a full five minutes without letting go. I’ll never forget the look in that doctor’s eyes. That was the first time in my life I understood what despair meant.

“Yeah, he was desperate. Heh heh.

“After that, I didn’t get my teeth fixed, and my dad scolded me hard, but I thought it was worth it.

“Later, I read a saying: ‘Hold fast to the green hills and never let go.’ I thought that was about me.

“But Charles Johnson and the others insisted I must have been a turtle in my past life. See, that’s the difference.

“How important it is to study Chinese well.”

Zoe Young tried so hard not to laugh that her face turned purple, but Andrew Lane didn’t notice, still half-bowing his head.

“So I think I can’t change. See, I’ve latched onto you again, I really can’t let go.”

Zoe Young suddenly felt her heart tremble.

“Then when I was six, one day a particularly naughty boy in our kindergarten class ran over and loudly told me, Andrew Lane, I know the difference between boys and girls!

“I was unimpressed. I’d known that for ages, did he really need to say it?

“Isn’t it just whether you stand or sit to pee?

“But what he said next really shocked me. He said, Andrew Lane, you haven’t seen the essence.

“Zoe, you always knew words I didn’t as a kid, but I bet when you were six you’d never heard the word ‘essence.’

“That boy stood tall in the sun, head held high, looking so heroic.

“He said, the essence is, girls’ little willies haven’t grown out yet, they’re hidden in their bellies!”

Zoe Young was drinking water and spat it out at his words, glancing around to make sure no one heard Andrew Lane’s nonsense.

“I was shocked again. What a divine discovery.

“I immediately took the lead as class monitor and loudly told him: ‘Okay, let’s go pull their little willies out together!’”

At this point, he stretched out his arm and made a fist, only to have Zoe Young smack it down.

“Of course, I didn’t actually go.

“He went by himself.

“All I can say is, it was a tragic day. I didn’t see him at kindergarten for three days after.

“Actually, the difference between boys and girls isn’t just about the little… you-know-what. Of course, that’s not something you can really say. Anyway, it’s just a weird feeling. But I think Charles Johnson understood it earlier than me. When we were little, as soon as the adults talked about arranging a marriage between me and Charlotte Lee, he’d already be hugging Charlotte Lee and crying his eyes out.”

Zoe Young’s mouth twitched silently. Sure enough, people say anything when they’re drunk.

“Later, I understood it soon enough. Because I met you.

“That feeling is, I really want to play with you, but I’m too shy to say it. But I also really want to play with my buddies, and I can shout for them without feeling embarrassed.

“Zoe, do you get it?

“Zoe, are you listening?”

Zoe Young gently squeezed his left hand: “Mm, go on, I’m listening.”

“But you’ve always had that expression since you were little. You never came to me first. I always felt like you were just standing there watching me run toward you, and sometimes you’d even walk farther and farther away in the opposite direction. I’d get really anxious, every little thing that happened pushed you a bit further away, and I was about to lose you, it scared me so much.”

His voice grew lower and slower.