Zoe Young was not a superstitious girl. She had never been interested in things like spirit-summoning games, horoscopes, or blood types that the other girls in her class were so passionate about. But she did believe that there were some strange patterns in life. For example, when you’re on a lucky streak with exams, you can do well even without studying; but once your luck turns, no matter how hard you try, you’ll trip up on decimal points and get stuck in the thirties or forties in the rankings. Often, people unknowingly fall into these invisible tracks of fate.

Her mom had a wide network of contacts. Ever since her grandma was admitted to the hospital, Zoe Young hadn’t seen her, probably because she was busy looking for a familiar chief physician.

Zoe Young and Tina Young stood side by side. For some reason, neither of them wanted to sit on the sky-blue plastic chairs in the hospital corridor. At the far end of the row sat two women, who, judging by their clothes, had probably come from the countryside to see a doctor. Their eyes held a faint wariness.

“Can they afford to see a doctor?”

Tina Young suddenly spoke. Zoe Young was taken aback. There wasn’t a hint of contempt in her words, but she didn’t understand what Tina Young meant.

“When I was in fourth grade, I spent a lot of money at the children’s hospital, remember? Such a minor illness cost so much. Do you think they can afford it? Coming all the way from the countryside to the city, it must be something serious. They probably can’t even pay the hospital fees, right?”

Zoe Young shook her head. “I don’t know either.”

“If you were seriously ill, so sick that saving you would bankrupt your family, but even then you couldn’t really be saved—just have your life extended by a few months—would you want your mom to save you?”

Zoe Young couldn’t help but turn to look seriously at Tina Young.

Actually, they hadn’t seen each other in a long time. Although they were close relatives and had once attended the same elementary school, apart from watching cartoons and “Princess Pearl” together, they didn’t have much in common. In the half year since Zoe Young moved away, she would visit her grandma every Saturday, but rarely ran into Tina Young. She was always in extra classes. Although No. 8 Middle School wasn’t as famous as the Affiliated School of the Normal University, it was still a top school.

The last time they met was probably during the New Year, right? On that noisy New Year’s Eve, the whole family sat together watching the Spring Festival Gala. When Zhao Benshan said to Fan Wei in “Selling Crutches,” “You just haven’t met me yet. If you had, you’d have been crippled long ago,” they exchanged a smile.

This cousin, only half a year older than herself, was still the same height, but there was a quality about her that seemed to be breaking free from her shell. Zoe Young couldn’t say what it was, but she could feel it. She couldn’t remember what Tina Young was like when she first moved to her grandma’s house—did she wear two braids, a ponytail, or short hair? Whatever it was, she remembered always feeling dull and overshadowed in front of Tina Young, and she really disliked her showing off and noisiness.

Yes, back then, Tina Young didn’t seem like the kind of girl who could say those things just now.

Zoe Young took a deep breath of the hospital’s disinfectant smell and stared at the nurse walking by, strong and sturdy, carrying seven or eight IV bottles in one hand. Suddenly, she smiled.

What kind of magic had time worked on them? Zoe Young really wanted to find a mirror and ask it, What about me? Have I changed?

“I still remember,” Zoe Young smiled, “in fourth grade, you always said you couldn’t catch your breath, your heart was racing. Oh, and I learned the terms ‘arrhythmia’ and ‘premature beat’ from your illness.”

They laughed together. Tina Young took a step back, resting the back of her head against the grayish-white wall.

“A lot of kids in that grade had myocarditis. It wasn’t a big deal, but the children’s hospital’s night-shift specialists rotated, so every time I went for a checkup, I got a different diagnosis. At first, they said I had gastritis, and after three days of IV drips, they said it was myocarditis. Once it was confirmed, every doctor had a different treatment plan. I remember there was some kind of ××mycin. Every time I got that IV, my arm would feel sore and numb, and I’d cry and refuse to go to the hospital…”

“Oh, right, and later you had to wear a heart monitor for a day, with tape stuck all over your chest and back. When the ECG results came out, the doctor said you had severe premature beats at two in the morning, and your condition was serious. But you told the doctor…”

Zoe Young paused, then laughed.

“You said it was because you had a nightmare, and a bear was chasing you…”

Hearing Zoe Young bring this up, Tina Young couldn’t help but bend over with laughter. Zoe Young suddenly realized that when her cousin laughed, her eyes curved just like her own, as if neither of them could see the road ahead.

In her memory, Tina Young always seemed to have only two expressions. As a child, she was arrogant; as she grew up, her brows were always furrowed with the melancholy and longing found behind the book “Seasons of Flowers and Rain.”

This was her real best friend!

“Actually, I really envied you back then. I wanted to get sick too, so I wouldn’t have to go to school,” Zoe Young rubbed her nose and smiled awkwardly. Then she quickly added, “But I didn’t mean you were faking it!”

“But,” Tina Young stopped smiling, “there are some things you can’t understand unless you’ve been seriously ill.”

Zoe Young opened her mouth, but stayed silent, waiting for Tina Young to continue.

“I was out of school for a long time. At first, classmates would call to check on me. There were a few girls I was really close to, and some class officers even came to our house on behalf of the whole class. Oh, you were already in school then, you weren’t there.”

Zoe Young remembered that evening after school, seeing Tina Young proudly showing off the fruit and toys her classmates had brought. In fourth grade, Tina Young was still so bright and proud, always eager to show off her best side.

How did she suddenly become like this? Only now did Zoe Young realize there was a huge gap in her cousin’s timeline, and she had never noticed.

“Later, the calls stopped, and they didn’t come anymore.”

Tina Young lowered her head, gently tapping her toe on the floor tiles.

“During the day, it was just me and grandma at home. When I was bored, I’d stand on the balcony and make paper airplanes to throw downstairs. Eventually, the neighborhood committee director came to our house, saying I was littering.”

“There was a period when I got better and went back to school for three days.”

Tina Young paused, then gave a strange, bitter smile.

When did they first learn to smile bitterly?

“When I walked in, everyone looked at me like I didn’t belong there. I even heard someone say I was faking it, because when they visited, I was so lively, just like a healthy person. I couldn’t join their conversations, and whenever I spoke, the room went quiet. I couldn’t answer questions in class, either. It was like I didn’t exist in that class anymore.”

Zoe Young raised her hand, wanting to smooth away the faint embarrassment and resentment between Tina Young’s brows.

“After that, I really didn’t want to go to school. I pretended to be sick, pretended I couldn’t breathe—after all, I knew all the symptoms of myocarditis.

Oh, if you shake the thermometer upside down, the temperature will go up. Really, try it next time you want to fake being sick, just say you have a fever.”

Zoe Young was surprised and flattered. “Once I put the thermometer in hot water, and it exploded.”

“Dummy,” Tina Young said simply, “really dumb.”

They were quiet for a while. Just when Zoe Young thought the conversation was over, she suddenly heard Tina Young sigh softly.

“But thank goodness for Andrew Lane.”

Zoe Young heard the IV bottles the nurse was carrying clink together. She lowered her head, pretending not to care, almost blurting out, “Who’s Andrew Lane?”

She suddenly felt that her awkward attempt to hide her curiosity was strange, so she just stayed silent.

“He called every week. He’d tell me the numbers of the math homework problems, told me to preview and review on my own, do my homework every day, so that when I went back to school it wouldn’t be too hard. If I didn’t understand something, I could call him.”

“I agreed, but at first I didn’t look at anything or do any homework. Later, he called and scolded me, told me I couldn’t… what did he say again? Oh right, give up on myself and let myself go. Yes, that’s what he said.”

Zoe Young looked up. Tina Young’s smiling profile, gazing at the blue chairs in the distance, fell into her eyes, sending a faint ripple through her heart.

You have always been the best squad leader in my heart.

The purple crystal apple in the snow was a flash of color in that gray winter.