Andrew Lane rubbed the back of his head, as if the spot where he’d been hit by a lunchbox on his first day of first grade was still faintly aching. The sky on September 1st was especially gloomy. He stubbornly waited until almost everyone had left the campus before finishing reading the class assignment lists posted on the wall, one by one. There was no Zoe Young at all. You lied to me. Andrew Lane stared silently at the red paper and black characters on the wall, as if he could bore a hole through them with his gaze. She had always been lying to him.

That year, the fourth imperial consort told the emperor, “I’ll come again tomorrow.” But she didn’t come either.

Thirteen-year-old Andrew Lane, already a little man, still cried his heart out by the wall on a rainy day. The French chocolate he had specially brought back for her had long since melted in the lingering summer heat, and now was even more of a mess after being soaked by the rain.

Zoe Young had bullied him one last time with a broken promise and a harsh farewell. She said, “You already have everything you want, so I wish you even more than that—may everything turn out even better than you imagine.”

Liar. Andrew Lane gritted his teeth. When did he ever have everything he wanted?

Somewhere in this world, there is a person who has never gone his way.

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18. Starting from Goodbye

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Zoe Young tilted her head up. The blazing midday sun made it impossible for her to open her eyes. Her grandmother’s figure on the balcony was a little blurry; she could only see her gray hair shining white in the sunlight.

Her mother, wearing big dark sunglasses that covered half her face, leaned against the passenger side door, also looking up, but with no expression. After a few seconds, she finally said, “Let’s go, 周周.”

Zoe Young waved hard, as if she saw her grandmother nod slightly, then climbed into the back seat of the SUV. The cool air inside the car instantly relaxed her from the inside out. “Just those few things in the trunk? Didn’t leave anything behind?” the unfamiliar uncle in the driver’s seat asked. “No,” her mother replied, and the uncle immediately started the car. “We only have a few daily necessities and clothes, and 周周’s stuff. No need to move furniture, so it’s easy.” “I remember the apartment you got after the relocation has been empty for two years, right? You kept dragging out the renovations. Why the sudden move now? Didn’t you say you were living well at your mom’s place?” “It was fine. It was convenient for 周周’s school, and I didn’t have to rush back at night to cook for her. Except for my sister-in-law rolling her eyes a few times, it really was worry-free.”

“Last time I told you I know someone at the Affiliated High School of Normal University who could help 周周 get in. Why didn’t I hear anything after that?”

Her mother took off her sunglasses, turned to look at 周周, and smiled. “She doesn’t want to go. Insisted on going back to Beijiang District.”

“And you just let her? What do kids know? The key schools in Beijiang District aren’t on the same level as the Affiliated High School.” At this, Zoe Young lowered her head and gently stroked the cover of the book in her arms with her finger. Her mother shook her head. “If she’s got what it takes, she’ll do well anywhere. If she doesn’t, even if I pay to send her to Peking or Tsinghua, she’ll still get kicked out.” Through the rearview mirror, Zoe Young saw the uncle give a noncommittal smile. “Besides,” her mother added, “it’s much more convenient for my work this way. Our boss said before the New Year that the office on Binjiang Road would be handed over to me. Living in Beijiang really is much closer, and it’s easier for me to take care of her. Moving back is fine.”

“But,” the uncle suddenly remembered something, “I told you long ago, that relocation apartment—whether it’s the building, the location, or the property management—none of it is good. You should just sell it and buy another one…”

“That apartment can’t be sold.” Her mother abruptly cut him off, but didn’t explain why. The uncle gave an awkward smile and continued, “Not selling it… that’s fine, but it’s not like you don’t have money. Buy a better place and you’ll be more comfortable. Shengshi Tianhua by the river is nice. You’ve worked so hard these past two years, and I heard you made a lot in the stock market. Money in your hand can’t hatch eggs…”

“I have to save for 周周’s future.” Her mother naturally cut him off. “My life is set, but my daughter has to live better than others. Do you think I’m this busy every day for myself?”

Zoe Young’s eyelashes trembled slightly. But the uncle was silent for a while, and the air in the car grew a bit tense before he finally spoke, “…Who says… who says your life is set?” His voice was low and slow, with a hint of pity. Zoe Young couldn’t say what kind of feeling this was at the time; she could only sense the strange atmosphere, a sweet ambiguity in the air. Pity—like that uncle from long ago who said he wanted to marry her mother, to cherish her, but then suddenly disappeared. Maybe pity is the beginning of love. I pity you, so I fall in love with you. But I pity myself more, so I leave you. Suddenly, her mother broke the mood with a crisp laugh, speaking lightly and carelessly: “I’m already this old, what else could my life be? By the way, I wanted to ask you, how’s your wife’s job transfer going? When I was buying floor tiles for the renovation, I bothered her a lot, and now moving house I’m troubling you again. Really, my daughter and I could have moved everything ourselves by taxi, but we keep bothering you…”

A flash of embarrassment crossed the uncle’s face, but he quickly adjusted his tone and laughed heartily. “She’s always fussing, menopause. That job thing, it’s all her own doing…” As if that strange atmosphere had never existed. Back then, Zoe Young could only sense a bit of oddness from the corners of their eyes and brows, but couldn’t explain it to herself. Many years later, when she understood everything, standing on the riverbank of time, looking at the clever woman on the other side playing with her sunglasses, smiling brightly and strong, she could smell a deep sadness and bitterness.

She never asked her mother who these uncles were, why they patted her head and said “hello,” and why they suddenly disappeared.

Even though she knew her mother wouldn’t blame her. Zoe Young had quietly grown up, and understood better not to touch the forbidden places in others’ hearts. No matter how close, not even with her mother. The car slowly stopped, Zoe Young jumped out, helped her mother carry things out, and watched her politely refuse the uncle’s offer to “help you carry things upstairs.”

So she smiled too, struggling to lift a bag of clothes and said, “Thank you, uncle, you’ve worked hard.” She looked up and saw her mother’s flawless, gentle smile. As the years passed, her mother no longer wore flat shoes, no longer spoke softly, no longer read thick books. Yet she was always this beautiful.

The new home wasn’t as nice as she’d imagined. The complex was overgrown with weeds, piles of construction debris were everywhere, and it looked like many places weren’t finished yet. But Zoe Young was still content.

She had moved three times. First, driven from the relocated area to a crowded courtyard, then reluctantly moved back to her grandmother’s house. Only this time, she didn’t cry.

This was her own home, the starting point of her new world. Every new beginning is a flower that blooms from a farewell. And one person’s farewell is often another person’s beginning. Zoe Young was always the one leaving, but this time, she would stand in place to see Alan Carter off.

When Lily Young was arguing with her family about repeating a year, Alan Carter had already managed to get into Peking University. Zoe Young had never worried about him, because Alan Carter was like a fairy.

After saying goodbye at the amusement park, she hadn’t seen him again. She finally mustered the courage to call him, and he laughed and asked, “Would you like to come see me off at the train station?”

Zoe Young squeezed through the crowd in the square in front of the station, clutching a glass jar. The sticky sweat on her hands made the jar slippery. She was careful and nervous, her arms aching, but finally she spotted Alan Carter standing with a group of people under the huge clock tower at the train station.

The boy who had once seemed so cynical in the snow now wore a distant, moon-like smile, chatting with those around him. Zoe Young suddenly remembered the corridor before that story contest long ago—there was the same sense of distance, a vague boundary between them.

He could reach down and pat her head, but even if she stood on tiptoe and stretched out her arms, she couldn’t touch the edge of his world.

Still, Zoe Young forced herself to go over. Claire Daniels hadn’t come, and Alan Carter’s classmates all treated her like a little cousin, not noticing her at all.

Alan Carter just raised his eyebrows in surprise, then quickly lowered his head and said, “Wait a minute, they’ll buy you a platform ticket,” before hurrying off to chat with others. The “congratulations” Zoe Young had prepared for so long never made it out; her pursed lips finally relaxed into a smile as she stood quietly to the side. When they went up to the platform and Alan Carter was ready to board, the smile at the corner of his mouth was no longer vague, but carried a hint of ambition. Zoe Young froze, finally catching his gaze, and anxiously signaled to him with her eyes: “Wait for me.”