Zoe Young only now realized that, in fact, her heart had never been empty, so there was nothing to fill.

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5. What can’t you get over

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Important people are always late, like the leaders. Finally, at ten thirty, the leaders arrived, all smiles, exchanging pleasantries and taking their seats on the stage. The host announced the official start of the ceremony. After a round of speeches from the leaders and the Youth League representatives, Zoe Young, who was so bored she could almost scratch the walls, finally waited for her turn to go on stage. She stood still, saluted, forced a smile, read out the speech she had written herself—full of sappy sentimentality and cliché phrases—saluted again amid the applause, and stepped down.

The four performers backstage were already lined up, holding bouquets, ready to go on stage. The drum and bugle corps was in position, and the bouquet team had finished adjusting outside, just waiting for the command to rush in with their bouquets held high to the music.

Zoe Young walked over to them and said to Claire Daniels, “Good luck.” At the same moment, Emily Xavier suddenly whispered to Charles Johnson, “What should I do? I’m suddenly really nervous.” It was Emily Xavier’s first time participating in such a large event, so Claire Daniels couldn’t help but temporarily set aside her prejudices and felt a bit sorry for her. Besides, because of Scott Zack’s presence, she herself was a little nervous, so for the first time in her life, she let down her guard and awkwardly comforted her, “What’s there to be afraid of? There’s nothing to be nervous about.”

Just then, Scott Zack and Andrew Lane stepped onto the stage. As they brushed past the four performers, Scott Zack actually winked at Claire Daniels and said with a light laugh, “Let’s see how you do.”

Emily Xavier gave a cold laugh. In response to Claire Daniels’s comfort, she just replied softly, “Indeed, there’s nothing to be afraid of, but who knows who’ll embarrass themselves on stage in a minute.”

As she said this, Claire Daniels happened to see Scott Zack go on stage, his back straight as he marched, his white figure looking just like a prince.

Claire Daniels suddenly forgot her first line. Panic made her break out in a cold sweat, so she turned her head and stared wide-eyed at Zoe Young, as if desperately pleading with her for help.

Zoe Young hadn’t had time to react to that look when Charles Johnson, who was at the end of the line, quietly said, “Ready, forward march!”

Claire Daniels hurriedly followed Charles Johnson onto the stage. Luckily, when the background music started, she managed to say her first line by instinct. Her mood calmed a little, and her fake smile relaxed a bit. As she mechanically recited her lines, her gaze inadvertently swept over the sea of green uniforms in the drum and bugle corps, and she suddenly saw two boys in the trumpet section whispering to each other, secretly saying something.

They even pointed in her direction. Were… his friends commenting on her? Claire Daniels felt a bit dazed. “Youth League!” Emily Xavier stepped forward. “Youth League!” Claire Daniels stepped forward. “You are the eternal big tree!” The third boy stepped forward.

“The eternal big tree!” Charles Johnson was the last, and he stepped forward too. “A tree!!!” “Big tree!!!”

The whole room fell silent for a second. The other three shouted “A tree!” and saluted with their right hands. Claire Daniels, however, shouted “Big tree” and saluted with her left hand.

To be precise, she shouted, “Big, big tree.” When she blurted out the first “big,” she heard the others say “A,” but she couldn’t stop herself. After a pause, she still stammered out, “Big tree.”

Big tree. She heard laughter erupt from below, like a tidal wave.

Zoe Young watched as Claire Daniels forced a smile and finished the rest of the speech. Then she watched her step down, still smiling. Then she saw the curve of Claire Daniels’s mouth slowly collapse, and tears start to fall, one by one. She held Claire Daniels’s hand tightly as the team counselor scolded them, spittle flying everywhere. It didn’t matter, none of it mattered. However the classmates laughed or whispered, none of it mattered. All they could feel was each other’s cold fingertips and the sticky sweat in their palms. Claire Daniels kept crying, lips pressed tight, still trying to put on a stern face like a women’s committee leader.

Zoe Young didn’t say anything, nor did she let go, standing shoulder to shoulder with Claire Daniels near the front door of the bus. The girlish excitement that had floated with every start and stop on the way there was now heavy and sour, settled at the bottom of her heart, unshakable.

The noisy crowd was a terrifying backdrop, with occasional sharp noises. Like Emily Xavier’s oriole-like, clear but drawn-out voice: “Everyone worked so hard rehearsing for so long, what a—pity—ah—” Or the shrieks from Scott Zack and a group of boys and girls laughing and playing near the back door. Zoe Young turned around. Emily Xavier’s tortoiseshell hair clip glinted in the sunlight, little spots of light stinging her eyes. “You’re really annoying,” Zoe Young said expressionlessly, but her words were drowned in the sea of laughter. Yet in that moment, Zoe Young, angry and indignant, actually felt a trace of happiness. It wasn’t a dark schadenfreude. Zoe Young felt ashamed of this little bit of joy, but she couldn’t erase her feelings. She felt that Claire Daniels was finally her equal. Or rather, that Claire Daniels might finally understand her. Outgoing and enthusiastic, Claire Daniels had always been Zoe Young’s close friend, but closeness didn’t mean no distance. Claire Daniels didn’t really understand Zoe Young, didn’t know what she was daydreaming about all day. Her little boasts, her natural sense of superiority, and her bold, unfiltered words—all of it, Zoe Young had to tolerate and accept. Claire Daniels had never been isolated or hurt; her world was full of justice and sunshine. Sometimes she would bluntly express her lack of understanding, even a bit of disdain, for Zoe Young’s smooth neutrality.

Zoe Young always just lowered her head and smiled, never arguing. But now, she patted Claire Daniels on the shoulder, wanting to ask her, “Now do you understand? This world loves to gloat over others’ misfortune.”

This world, big fish eat little fish. This world is very, very unkind.

Back at school, amid the team counselor’s endless complaints, Claire Daniels silently changed out of her costume, returned it to the teacher, and was pulled away by Zoe Young to remove her makeup.

Zoe Young felt she had so much she wanted to say to Claire Daniels. Whether to comfort her or to confide in her—she had finally found a breakthrough, a way to get closer to this friend.

But just as they reached the school gate and she was about to speak, Claire Daniels suddenly burst into tears and ran forward, throwing herself into the arms of a short-haired auntie.

Shame and grievance mixed together, flowing from her eyes. Claire Daniels couldn’t get out a complete sentence. But her mother didn’t ask anything, just held her. Zoe Young walked over, smelling the soft scent of fabric softener on Claire Daniels’s mother’s clothes, drifting gently into her nose, especially soothing.

“Why are you crying? Your dad just called and said he’s going to show off tonight and make fish head with black bean sauce. Cheer up!” Zoe Young felt a pang. The little breakthrough she’d found in her own dark thoughts instantly closed up. She felt a sense of loss, but was genuinely happy for Claire Daniels. In the end, they were different. She had tried to make the other girl her kindred spirit through disappointment and setbacks, but forgot that the other was not some pitiful person with nothing. Zoe Young ended up smiling, a genuine smile.

Her thoughts were muddled, but for some reason she felt that the fewer people like her, the better. “Are you going to keep crying forever? Young lady, what can’t you get over?” Claire Daniels’s mother kept gently patting her back. Zoe Young smiled gently at the side. Yes, what can’t you get over?

Claire Daniels’s mother later took three days off to stay home and take her daughter out to have fun, saying it was to cheer her up. Claire Daniels finally stopped crying.

So the tears passed. When Claire Daniels returned to school, with Zoe Young by her side, the pointing and gossiping gradually faded. So the ridicule passed.

Because the “scandal heroine” had lost popularity after her embarrassment, there were no more rumors at school about Scott Zack liking Claire Daniels. At the school gate, people were back to teasing about “Scott Zack” and “Crystal Hughes.”

So the infatuation passed. Zoe Young also learned why Scott Zack liked Claire Daniels.

During lunch break, she sat in the second row gnawing on pork ribs, while a few girls behind her chatted loudly about Scott Zack’s fickleness—“He used to like Claire Daniels, you know. He said he liked girls with pointy chins, big eyes, and long hair. When he saw Claire Daniels walk by, he said that was his type—what nonsense, look at the one he likes now, Crystal Hughes, that square chin, that big face…”