“Zoe, what cartoon are you watching right now?” Sitting in the front passenger seat, Alan Carter turned around and asked. Zoe Young heard him and her expression immediately lost its calm: “Slam Dunk, it’s super, super, super good!” Alan Carter’s attractive eyes curved into a smile too: “Oh, that one, I like it too.” Whenever Zoe Young mentioned cartoons like Sailor Moon, Alan Carter would just make a helpless face, but this time, he said he liked it too. Zoe Young immediately jumped up in her seat, and ended up hitting her head hard on the car roof. “Are you okay? Why are you so excited?” Zoe Young’s eyes filled with tears from the pain, and as she looked up into the oncoming headlights, her eyes seemed to light up with two watery lamps.

“Because... it’s just so good.” Alan Carter laughed out loud. He knew Zoe Young was more mature than other kids her age, and always had her own opinions, but whenever she talked about people or things she really cared about, her vocabulary would become very limited, and she’d use the simplest, plainest words, repeating them over and over to clumsily express her affection.

“It really is. I saw it on TV before, then went to borrow the whole set of VCDs, and later collected the manga, just to see the part about the national tournament. It really is...” Alan Carter paused, then finally lowered his head and laughed, imitating Zoe Young’s way of speaking, “It really is, super good.”

Zoe Young’s girlish side exploded instantly: “So, who do you like?” Alan Carter shook his head in mock despair: “I knew it, you girls watch Slam Dunk and soccer just for the handsome guys.” “I do not!” Zoe Young became serious, her eyes wide. “Oh?” Alan Carter half-squinted, “Then why did you ask who I like?”

Zoe Young was stunned for a long time, opened her mouth, but finally just reached out and grabbed his down jacket: “Anyway, who do you like?” Alan Carter shrugged: “I like Sakuragi Hanamichi and Mito Yohei.” This answer surprised Zoe Young. It was true, everyone around her liked Sakuragi Hanamichi, enjoyed watching him make a fool of himself, but no one made him their favorite. He was a clownish protagonist, but they liked him, they didn’t love him.

Alan Carter seemed to have expected her reaction: “See, I told you, you girls only care about the handsome guys. Who do you like? Rukawa Kaede?”

Zoe Young shook her head. “Sendoh Akira?” Zoe Young shook her head again. “Then who?”

Zoe Young tilted her head and thought for a long time, then said very seriously and slowly, “It’s not any one person I like. I like them... I like the way they are. The way they go to school every day, the way they play basketball. And, they dare to challenge, dare to brag, but they work hard, and they’re not afraid to lose, not afraid to be embarrassed. They can afford to lose.”

Alan Carter was stunned, and turned to look at Zoe Young seriously. The little girl in front of him looked solemn and full of longing, her eyes reflecting the orange car lights, shining with an indescribable light that could burn you if you weren’t careful. Alan Carter turned away and stopped looking at her: “Zoe, are you afraid to lose?” Zoe Young nodded: “I can’t afford to lose.”

Alan Carter didn’t say anything else. When they got near Zoe’s grandma’s house, Alan Carter handed money to the driver, then got out and opened the car door, taking the cello from Zoe Young’s arms in the back seat. “Aren’t you going to just take the car home?”

“I’ll walk you to your door.” Alan Carter slung the cello over his shoulder, “I’ll go home after I see you go upstairs.” Zoe Young didn’t refuse anymore. But this time, she took the initiative to hold Alan Carter’s hand.

She suddenly remembered, it was also in a snowy season like this, she was walking forward, lost in her own world, when she looked up and saw Alan Carter. This time, they could walk home together.

Zoe Young suddenly felt a pure joy overflowing in her heart. She couldn’t say exactly what it was, but it felt solid and certain. Every time she saw Alan Carter, saw his always calm and easygoing manner, Zoe Young would feel like nothing in the world was a big deal. The harsh and irritable team counselor, the cold and selfish homeroom teacher, the fickle attitudes in the class—everything that Zoe Young found hard to bear, in front of Alan Carter, would surely be laughed off.

Alan Carter was her role model. Zoe Young constantly told herself: You have to be like Alan Carter, you must be like Alan Carter. But she knew everything she did was just a clumsy imitation. She could fake a smile, but it was still fake; her heart still hurt, she still cared, she was still upset. “Zoe.” At the door, Alan Carter put down the cello from his shoulder, “I forgot to tell you, after this New Year’s performance, I’m leaving the orchestra.” Zoe Young paused as she took the cello: “Why?”

“I’m preparing for the math and physics competitions, mainly to get a chance for a recommendation. Originally, once I started high school, my contract with the orchestra would end anyway, and besides, I never used those five extra points, so even if I quit in junior high, it wouldn’t matter. But it was because of Teacher Gu and my violin teacher, Teacher Jiang, that I stayed to help with the violin section. Now that both Teacher Gu and Teacher Jiang are leaving the orchestra, there’s no point in me staying.”

Zoe Young took a while to react, then nodded: “Oh, that’s good,” she shook her head in a fluster, “that’s good.” Alan Carter smiled as he watched the little girl shake her head and say “that’s good,” and still reached out to pat her head: “I’ll still come by the orchestra sometimes, we’ll see each other again.” That kind of promise, you should never believe. Zoe Young looked up and smiled: “I know, for sure. You have to study hard.” She slung her cello on her back, waved at Alan Carter, and turned to leave. “Zoe!” Zoe Young turned back, Alan Carter had his hands in his pockets, standing under the orange streetlight, smiling at her.

“Actually, Zoe, you’re a girl who can afford to lose. Cartoons are much more exaggerated and pure than reality, but reality is also much more cruel and exciting than cartoons. Don’t always envy them, and don’t always live in your imagination.”

Zoe Young wanted to say something, but suddenly felt her nose sting. She quickly turned around and strode toward the door, wanting for some reason to leave behind a cool figure—like the confident, upright boys dribbling the ball in the ending credits. Zoe Young grabbed the cello strap with her left hand, pretended to dribble with her right, humming the ending theme in her head, and suddenly felt heroic and passionate, full of youthful energy.

Then her foot slipped. She fell headlong into the trash pile.

Alan Carter was right, Zoe Young thought, reality really is more cruel and exciting than cartoons. Or maybe, not necessarily exciting, but definitely more cruel.

------------

2. I Didn’t Mean To Either

Fastest updates for Hello, Old Times latest chapters!

“Look at Daniel Hughes acting all smug!” Claire Daniels gnawed on a rib as she glared fiercely at Daniel Hughes, who was surrounded by a crowd.

In the “Hua Luogeng” Cup National Math Olympiad, Andrew Lane from Class 1 and Daniel Hughes from Class 7 both won gold medals. Zoe Young watched Daniel Hughes basking in the limelight, talking big in the crowd, and suddenly thought, if Daniel Hughes had a tail, it would be wagging faster than an airplane propeller right now. She suddenly couldn’t remember what she was doing when they were studying for the Math Olympiad. Math Olympiad seemed like a long-term investment—when Zoe Young, Fiona James, and others enjoyed their brief moments of happiness in the spotlight, there were still many people hunched over their desks wrestling with numbers, and one day, the ones truly standing on stage would be them.

The Red Scarf Broadcasting Station that Zoe Young was in charge of announced the commendation of Andrew Lane and Daniel Hughes for three mornings in a row, until one morning when she felt like throwing up just reading their names. She didn’t know what this feeling was, as if the Math Olympiad craze would sweep up a fire that would burn her and them all to ashes.