“I can’t get directly into the Affiliated High School of Normal University, I have to take the entrance exam myself, and for the exam I need to take Olympiad Math... And, it’s not just that, the teacher said...” Zoe Young took a deep breath, “She said that for girls, it’s easy to fall behind in middle school. If you haven’t had Olympiad Math training, or if you can’t understand Olympiad Math, it means you’re stupid, and even if you get into middle school... And if I can’t get into the Affiliated High School, I’ll have to go to a non-key school, and, and...” She realized her words were getting jumbled, and in the end, she didn’t even know what was really behind all those reasons, so she had to stop talking, lowered her head, and stared blankly at the ice.

Alan Carter didn’t speak for a long time. Zoe Young thought he was coming up with some lukewarm words to comfort her, but unexpectedly, he had just been smiling the whole time, as if watching a confused little puppy.

“What are you laughing at?” “Do you have to study Olympiad Math? Do you have to get into the Affiliated High School? They say if you don’t study Olympiad Math, you’ll fall behind in middle school, and if you fall behind in middle school, you can’t get into a good high school, and if you can’t get into a good high school, you can’t get into a good university...” Alan Carter finished in one breath, paused for a few seconds, “So you just believe them?”

Zoe Young was stunned. “Isn’t... that true?”

Alan Carter pointed at his own nose: “I never studied Olympiad Math, and I didn’t go to the Affiliated High School either. Maybe Peking University doesn’t want to settle for me, but I managed to get into Brightstar High School. Do you believe them, or do you believe me?”

Zoe Young stared blankly at Alan Carter’s bright white smile. He said loudly to her, “Who do you really believe? I’m a living example, you know.”

At that moment, Zoe Young wiped away the tears that had sprung up from surprise and joy, and had to admit that Alan Carter really was a fairy.

At least, her own personal fairy.

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15. The Protagonist’s Game

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Zoe Young started to smile dreamily, and the heavy stone weighing down her chest was taken out by Alan Carter and thrown far away toward the horizon—she could even hear it splash into the river with a “plop.”

In the end, it was still the fear of walking a path no one else believed in. But now Zoe Young knew that this path, Alan Carter had walked before, and he had found light at the end of the tunnel. Why shouldn’t she believe?

“Is that really all?” Alan Carter curled his lips, not letting Zoe Young linger too long in her sudden joy. “What?”

“Are you unhappy just because of this?” Zoe Young suddenly felt as if a feather was gently brushing the tip of her heart. She had plenty of sorrows to comfort others with, except for those two. She had many troubles to ask her fairy for help with, except for those two. Maybe Alan Carter was just asking casually, but his unintentionally “deeper” question made Zoe Young feel a lot. Can I tell you, fairy? She was still hesitating when she heard the black dog behind her whimper a few times, then dash forward. The owner of the sled dog rental finally noticed them and hurried over. The owner seemed afraid that Alan Carter and Zoe Young would ask for a refund, so he kept apologizing with a fawning smile, even kicking the useless gray dog as if hoping they’d feel better seeing that. Alan Carter waved his hand and said it was fine, and Zoe Young added, “You’re not allowed to bully it,” before turning to leave, accompanied by the owner’s ingratiating smile.

“See?” Alan Carter shook his head. “It’s not easy being a dog either.”

More and more tourists were gathering around, and people were lining up by the ice slide. The lively human atmosphere snapped Zoe Young out of her earlier heroic mood of walking side by side with her fairy through the vast world. She started thinking about many practical things. Maybe Alan Carter never studied Olympiad Math or went to a key middle school, but after all, he was Alan Carter.

“...Not only can I not learn Olympiad Math, but I also haven’t studied English in advance, I...” She hadn’t finished when she suddenly saw Alan Carter sneer.

“In elementary school, you study middle school courses in advance; in middle school, you study high school courses in advance; when you’re doing competitions, you rush through college courses in a few classes... Why do you have to start early? Doing tomorrow’s work today, doing the day after tomorrow’s work tomorrow, what’s the rush? Are you in a hurry to die and get reincarnated sooner?”

Zoe Young was startled. Alan Carter’s tone was still gentle, but there was a strong sense of cynicism. She had never seen this side of Alan Carter before, like an angry youth who couldn’t stand anything, frowning slightly as he stared at some distant point, lost in thought.

She tugged at his sleeve, and Alan Carter returned to his usual smiling face, patting her head: “Did I scare you?” “No,” Zoe Young shook her head, “You’re right.”

Zoe Young tasted pizza for the first time. They were so cold in the snow park that they could barely speak, and finally, reluctantly, left the rides. Alan Carter suddenly asked Zoe Young if she’d ever had pizza.

Back then, pizza places had just come to the city, like KFC had before, making all the kids long to try it. When Zoe Young first liked KFC, her mom used to bring her spicy chicken wings and mashed potatoes every night until she was sick of them.

When it came to material things, her mom did everything she could to make it up to her—Zoe Young wasn’t unaware. All the other customers were gently cutting their pizza with knives and forks, but as soon as their cream pizza arrived, Zoe Young reached out and grabbed a slice. The thick cheese stretched into long strings, looking delicious. Alan Carter laughed.

“You like eating with your hands too?” “What’s wrong?” Zoe Young looked around and realized she was the only one eating pizza with her hands. She put down the triangular slice a little embarrassed. “...That’s how the Ninja Turtles eat...” Alan Carter laughed even harder and grabbed a slice with his right hand too: “Exactly right.”

When you’re sad, you eat, because your stomach is close to your heart. When you’re full, the warmth in your stomach crowds out the space in your heart, so you don’t feel so cold and empty inside.

“Zoe, you’re not applying to the Shanghai Conservatory of Music’s affiliated school?” “I don’t want to.” Zoe Young had her mouth full of onion rings. She was in a much better mood, speaking more directly, finally sounding a bit like a kid. “I think it’s boring.” “Boring?”

“I don’t like it. I like the cello, but not that much. I... I can’t explain it.” “Then what do you want to do?” Zoe Young sucked her fingers, looked into the distance, and thought seriously: “I don’t know, I really don’t. But I hope that one day I can make it so my mom doesn’t have to work so hard, I can earn lots and lots of money, then buy a really big house, and then we can be like we used to be. I also want... I also want...” I also want people to stop looking down on me, never want to see Mr. Hughes, Ryan Johnson, and Charlotte Lee again, never again...

She froze, her finger in her mouth, dazed for a moment, then looked up to see Alan Carter’s gentle eyes. When she spoke of her wishes, she hadn’t felt much emotion, but seeing that look, her nose suddenly stung.

“Why only your mom?” His words were like a knife, gentle in its sheen, but with a sharp edge. Zoe Young looked up, swallowed four or five times, and Alan Carter’s gaze was always firm and encouraging. She put down her fork, wiped her mouth, and took a deep breath. “Because I really only have my mom.”

...Finally, she said it.

For the first time in her life, Zoe Young calmly and completely told someone about herself. Her mom and dad had been lovers when they were young, but her dad married the daughter of a very rich and well-connected family, while her mom insisted on having her—or maybe, it was just too late, and an abortion would have been too dangerous.

Actually, she didn’t know much about what happened back then, just bits and pieces from when “dad” and mom argued, gossip from the neighbors, and the things her mom said while crying and holding her after drinking—regrets and things she couldn’t let go of.

So all she could tell Alan Carter was how they didn’t want to play with her, how Andrew Lane got dragged down by her, and about Olympiad Math. She couldn’t learn Olympiad Math, not just because she was dumb, but because she was too desperate to leap ahead, to be the best, to have a dramatic reversal like in cartoons, stepping on all the villains and ending up in the light.

But she didn’t cry. “Actually, I’ve always really wanted to get back at them. I want to be really, really good. I hate them.” Hate can make you strong. “But I’m too dumb. I thought being a class leader and learning the cello would make me talented, but now I know, it’s all useless.” Alan Carter didn’t say anything the whole time. When Zoe Young had been silent for a long while, he gently took her hand. “Zoe, let’s play a game.”

“Hm?” “Let’s play the protagonist’s game.” “The protagonist’s game?”