Always Happy: No. I want to buy a voice changer, but the reviews for those Taobao shops aren’t great. Do you have any recommendations?

SmithSmith: A voice changer? What kind are you looking for?

Always Happy: One that can turn me into a loli voice, so cute it’ll make people swoon from three kilometers away.

SmithSmith: …

SmithSmith: …That’s a bit tricky, you might need a sound card too. I know a few friends, I’ll ask around for you.

Always Happy: Okay, I’ll wait for your news. Thanks.

SmithSmith: No problem.

Not long after, the other party sent over a shop link. Chris Brooks clicked in, didn’t even bother reading the product description, and just bought the most expensive one.

The customer service was clearly experienced; after hearing his request, they immediately started remote control and quickly tuned his sound card.

Chris Brooks hooked up his thousand-yuan microphone to test it out, and, satisfied, left a glowing five-star review.

Now there was only one step left—the face.

Just like other online games, Jiuxia has a character customization system. Chris Brooks hadn’t seen what the new account looked like, but with a new account comes a new vibe, so of course he wanted to change everything for the best experience.

He opened the search bar, typed in “Jiuxia face data,” picked the shop with the highest positive rating, and messaged their customer service directly.

Always Happy: You there?

Customer Service Chick: I’m here, dear [blows kiss], Customer Service Chick at your service.

Always Happy: Your name’s not very proper, you know.

Customer Service Chick: …You’re overthinking it~ How can I help you?

Always Happy: Make me a face.

Customer Service Chick: Sure, dear. Any requirements or references?

Chris Brooks didn’t really have any requirements. He thought for a moment and typed:

Always Happy: I want a face that makes any man want to marry me at first sight.

Customer Service Chick: …

If I had that kind of skill, would I still be running a Taobao shop?

Customer Service Chick: Can you be a bit more specific, dear?

Always Happy: Fine. I want it to be cute, lively, sexy, and charming—not too young, not too old, preferably with a bit of a dreamy vibe. The rest is up to you.

On the other end, the customer service took a deep breath, turned, and punched the stress doll next to the mouse a few times.

Customer Service Chick: Sorry, dear, I’m afraid we can’t meet your request. But no worries! There are plenty of talented peers on Taobao. I suggest you try this shop.

The customer service quickly sent over a link to a rival shop.

Chris Brooks messaged four customer services in a row before finally finding one willing to take the order.

He spent 999 yuan for a face and happily opened the game.

At the character selection screen, he specifically checked the character’s features.

Honestly, it looked pretty good. You could tell the original owner had some taste, and even the in-game name was poetic—Don’t Frown.

Chris Brooks looked away and entered the game.

A slender, beautiful character appeared by the Bianliang riverside.

The Bianliang riverside is a low-level wild area. Hardly anyone kills monsters here, so there are mobs everywhere. Chris Brooks had barely taken two steps before triggering a battle.

The account he bought belonged to the Putuo Mountain sect, a celestial healer. Female celestial characters look better, and the sect’s skills are simple, requiring little operation, so Putuo Mountain naturally became the first choice for many female players.

But Putuo Mountain is slow at grinding mobs, and there’s little room for maneuver in PK, so Chris Brooks didn’t really like this sect.

He clicked his tongue lightly, used a skill to wipe out two monsters, and was about to use a skill to return to the sect.

[Love Unheeded has initiated a forced PK against you.]

A talisman fell from the sky—a human sect skill, the sealing talisman.

Chris Brooks was momentarily stunned, but his hands reacted quickly, dodging the talisman.

But just as he moved to another spot, a large net closed in. Chris Brooks couldn’t dodge in time and was firmly trapped.

A few people appeared in front of him, their weapons gleaming, clearly well-equipped. Two of the control classes were still charging their sealing skills.

[Current]Don't Frown: ??

[Current]Love Unheeded: Bitch, back to die again?

The other party started with insults. Chris Brooks quickly realized this was probably some old grudge from the account’s previous owner.

[Current]Don't Frown: The account changed hands.

[Current]Love Unheeded: That old trick again? You think we’re idiots? You expect us to fall for it every time?

[Current]Don't Frown: …

If this account didn’t have a special purpose and he needed to keep up appearances, he’d have cursed them out by now.

[Current]Don't Frown: I bought it half an hour ago, 35,000 yuan, there’s a purchase record.

[Current]Love Unheeded: Don’t you always have a purchase record? I’m telling you, as long as I, Love, am in this server, you’ll never leave the safe zone!

Chris Brooks wanted to say more, but the other party was already coming at him with a whip.